MY UNDERSTANDING

Sympathy vs Empathy (MY UNDERSTANDING)

(Part 2)

Nowadays it’s a fashion to talk about religion and Sufism and discussing words like empathy and sympathy, helping the poor and the sick and the hungered, subjugated and victimized poor in our drawing rooms. How much do we really mean it is another story but what does we really mean, when we use the words sympathy and empathy?

According to Google:

“Sympathy is a feeling of pity or sense of compassion — it's when you feel bad for someone else who's going through something hard.”

The feeling of sadness when someone is going through painful situations or circumstances. People often cry for other people when they see them in pain or crying for example seeing someone fighting cancer or losing a child or a parent, definitely sympathy is very different from empathy because in sympathy we don't feel or to put it correctly we cannot feel the exact pain or suffering that the other person is going through. Sympathy has levels from being minute to heartfelt, but it lasts for a short time.

Empathy is the way of life prescribed by the heavens, and preached in all religions;

“thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." 

Most Christian denominations consider this to be one of the commandments to be the core of correct Christian lifestyle. In Islam empathy is considered a must for all Muslims, According to a hadith:

None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.” (Al-Bukhari)

The PROPHET ( PBUH) once said:

“You see the believers as regards their being merciful among themselves and showing love among themselves and being kind, resembling one body, so that, if any part of the body is not well then the whole body shares the sleeplessness (insomnia) and fever with it.” (Al-Bukhari)

·         Once a young man came to him and asked permission to commit zina (fornication). The people around were about to rebuke him when the Prophet told them to leave him alone. Then he asked him to apply empathy in order to understand the gravity of what he wanted to do:

“Would you like that for your mother?”

The man said: “No, by Allah, may Allah make me your ransom.”

The Prophet said:

“No, and the people do not like it for their mothers either.”

Then he said: “Would you like it for your daughter?”

“No, by Allah, may Allah make me your ransom.”

“No, and the people do not like it for their daughters either. Would you like it for your sister?”

“No, by Allah, may Allah make me your ransom.”

“No, and the people do not like it for their sisters either. Would you like it for your paternal aunt?”

“No, by Allah, may Allah make me your ransom.”

“No, and the people do not like it for their paternal aunts either. Would you like it for your maternal aunt?”

“No, by Allah, may Allah make me your ransom.”

“No, and the people do not like it for their maternal aunts either.”

Then the Prophet placed his hand on him and said:

“O Allah, forgives his sins and cleanses his heart, and protects his chastity.” (Ahmad)

 Empathy means to place oneself in other shoes and understanding his/her logic and feelings in that particular situation and act accordingly to help the person out. It literally means to treat another as one own self. When we do that, we are defying traditional rules, at times social customs and principals and doing what is right rather than what is accepted, if people start empathising more the world can be a very happy peaceful place to live, no one will let a poor go to sleep hungry, or in cold because they will be thinking about themselves. People will not abuse or rape other people’s daughters because they will know how bad it will feel if their own daughters, mother or sisters were mistreated, on the contrary people will start to stand up against abuse and mistreatment and injustice. People will not hurt people, not make them suffer, be dishonest or disloyal.

Empathy is a way of life, it’s a principle on how to live life. The best outcome of empathy is self-peace and better judgement. Unfortunately, as a society we have forgotten this concept, in being so called logical and professional we have degraded feelings to only a fool’s play and as an stupid act, which is our main downfall. It’s always the feelings and emotions that give strength to our relationships be it with GOD or HUMANS. And without relationships any business, social interactions, connections are nothing but a mere a failure.

BY: OVAIS ASAD KHAN