VALENTINE’S DAY OR EVERYDAY?

EVERYDAY, A VALENTINE’S DAY

Valentine Days celebration all around the world just pushed me into a writing groove and I thought of writing something on it. As I belong to that part of the society who believes enjoying and loving people around you at every second of your life and with a belief system of , ‘’what you can enjoy right now can be achieved in any stage of life provided you have the chance and life to celebrate it.’’ So I firmly endorse the statement “make everyday a Valentine’s Day.” There’s no need to wait for a specific and famous day like Valentine’s Day to buy your partner a lovely present, because every day is a gift, that is why it is called the present.

For a very long time I have been hearing so many different things about the very special love day… There are few who absolutely love the day, have taken a leave from work and have planned a very romantic day with their loved ones. And there are others who absolutely abhor this day and the idea of celebrating love on one special day!

Biggest argument that I favor strongly is- why do you need a special day to celebrate your love. You can celebrate it daily! and why can’t “Everyday be a valentine’s day?” Love is not what you hope, wish or intend, but only what you do that counts.  I say, actions must be taken at once! There is no time to be lost.

My answer to this very question is “Yes”, indeed you can celebrate it daily. Why not? And who is stopping you? Hey! wait for a second don’t just start celebrating, just check your purse,  now think and try to remember when was the last time you bought flowers or a present for your loved ones? When was the last time, you went out on a dinner? When was the last time, you had a heart to heart talk with them? When was the last time, you really spent a valuable time with them, without any external disturbance (including tabs, phones and TVs)? When was the last time you made them feel special? And of course, I’m not talking about birthdays or anniversaries! Here another clarification on my part, I am a family person and strongly believe that valentine’s day or everyday celebration is not just for your lover it’s for all those whom you love and consider as your loved ones in the life.

To me valentine day is just another day in your life to express your love for your loved ones and to celebrate it in one way or the other. With New Year around stores start filling up with pink and red hearts and candies and bears that say things such as "I love you" or "be mine." Growing up, Valentine's Day was the day you get candy from your classmates. Now, people seem to think of it as the one day of the year when you show your significant other how much you love them by buying them things. In other words, I can say that I don't buy the idea of celebrating love on just one day of the year. Besides I think celebrating love should not be limited to romantic love. I think that platonic love, and the love you have for your family should be celebrated just as much as romantic love. If we celebrate the love we have for our friends, family, significant others, etc., every day it becomes a more genuine appreciation for love rather than a forced day filled with consumerism. To me Valentine’s Day love is more a commercialized venture then a true expression of your love, feeling and emotions.

Though Valentine's Day in Pakistan is officially banned, and the Islamist orthodoxy has taken steps to obstruct celebrations, many Pakistanis celebrate the day's festivities. In recent years, youth and commercial establishments in Pakistan have supported Valentine's Day festivities and celebrating romantic friendship and love. Youth in the country, where 60 percent of the population is below age 30 and half are under 18, are influenced more by global trends than traditions. Valentine's Day serves annually as a flash point of the culture war in Pakistan. In spite of overarching official antagonism and overreach against celebration of Valentine's Day, people have found ways to still celebrate love and the holiday has steadily gained popularity. Pakistani couples exchange balloons, chocolates, and flowers, often photographing themselves in front of a wall of red and pink flowers. Some shopkeepers have taken steps to appear compliant with restrictions on selling red roses, while acknowledging that they had hidden stashes to supply regular, known customers. Other commercial establishments have shifted their promotions around the holiday to on-line and social media outlets, recommending delivery services to avoid scrutiny. On the other hand many institutions and individuals have offered substitutes for Valentine's Day, suggesting it should be used for a day to reach out to "refugees, internally displaced people, patients of terminal illnesses, survivors of abuse and rape, victims of natural disasters and survivors of man-made wars and terrorism". Friends' Day, Modesty Day (Haya Day), Sister's Day, and Family Day, have been promoted as alternative solutions for countering observations of love on February 14^th.

But I still glue to my point that why we need a specific day to express our love, affection, emotions, feeling and sincerity towards our loved ones, why cause rift and trouble in the society, why this pseudo expression and sentiments outflow is for just one day in the year? To me if you really care for someone don’t go for a single day grand celebration and depiction of your love just divide it in 365 smaller chunks and pass them on to your loved one every day. A very expensive give, dinner, perfume and a fancy decor and aura created for your loved ones for just one day won’t give them that happiness that a simple smile, a hug, a kiss a simple sentence that “I Love You” randomly and on everyday will enrich their lives with abundance of happiness and make them enjoy every moment of their life.

In short, I still want you to think of everyday as Valentine’s Day, but it’s easier said than done! As it won’t be an easy thing to express your love for all your loved ones everyday as their will be time when you yourself won’t be in that very good mood or state of mind, thus everyday should be stretched to those days when you are in best of yourself. So, take a small step first, do celebrate on this very special day of love, it’s a great reminder of people around you, it’s a great reminder of emotions and feelings that make our life extraordinary. So, cheer up, smile, buy some flowers for your loved ones, buy chocolates for them and go and celebrate this stupid love day and as many other days of the year as it is possible with loads of love, hugs, smiles and happiness! Tell them how much you love them.

Wish you all a very happy and lovable life with your loved ones filled with sentiments, affection and LOVE.

By: Ovais Asad Khan

WHY BEING SADIST

SADISTIC RELATIONSHIPS: AN OVERVIEW

(PART 1)

During the course of life, we meet people, we are related to some, they are a part of our family, have friends and colleagues and classmates, neighbours etc etc.  In-short, we come across a variety of individuals, some we connect with, immediately, some we disagree with and some with don’t like.

Is it possible that all the people we come across are good? Ideally, I would like to think so, but no, unfortunately it’s never the case.  Some people are parasites, coronavirus of our society. They stay very close to us and prey. Some predators hunt us for financial benefits, and social connections  which is not bad as it’s a materialistic world after-all , worst are people who prey on someone’s trust and happiness, all in the guise of love and care , they destroy the person and damage him or her so badly that it leaves permanent scars.  I always used to think why betray or abuse someone, especially when that person is sincere? Why murder someone’s soul?

Harmful disclosures of confidential information, disloyalty, infidelity, dishonesty, they can be traumatic and cause considerable distress. The effects of such actions by people you love have weird emotional effects including shock, loss and grief, morbid pre-occupation, damaged self-esteem, self-doubting, anger. This kind of attitude is kind of a betrayal, when someone you trust lies to you, cheats on you, abuses you, or hurts you by putting their own self-interest first. Hence this kind of treatment is probably the most devastating loss a person can experience. Its not that people don’t know the power of what their actions or words could have on other people, such acts are always intentional and planned. No human being is ever this naïve that he/she destroy a person unintentionally. To identify them look for these common attributes in them in the beginning of the relationship/ friendship;

·         Such people be very concerned about their image, they will appear to be extra friendly, jolly and will take extra care of their attire and material stuff.

·         Their social media presence be extremely UpToDate with pics mostly / definitely without you except if you are paying for everything they own.

·         They will always keep a tab on where you are and with whom.

·         They will vanish from to time, especially when you need them

·         They be keeping a certain part of their lives private, always boosting about privacy whence they would even want to know the colour of your underwear.

·         They will always talk about the negatives of people.

·         They will always be portraying one person or another as a villain, out to get you.

·         They be always portraying themselves as victims wronged by the whole world.

·         They be always praising you and showering love and undistracted attention, especially before asking you for something.

·         Their advice would have nothing to do with actually doing the right thing or morality.

·         Unnecessary crying, sentiments and oaths.

·         They will never be honest with you and always sugar coat their words to please you.

·         They will never disagree with you directly.

Once you will trust them and you will think that you are blessed than the changes will appear, the demands will increase, unnecessary anger fits, tantrums, fighting on meaningless stuff. The circle continues and the grip becomes tightened. People usually think that the situation will improve,it will become better , try to find reasons and excuses  for their behaviours at times try to blame other people or situations for such reactions. Someone who has everyday sadism is an average person who not only lacks empathy but enjoys inflicting harm on others. ... These people have sadistic personalities. So it makes sense that they are out there dating (or marrying). After all, the best way to inflict pain is to do it to someone who truly cares about you.

A sadistic person can easily be spotted if you see him or her having one or more of these things in their nature and shown by their attitude or behavior:

Ø  They enjoy seeing people hurt.

Ø  They would enjoy hurting someone physically, sexually, or emotionally.

Ø  Hurting people would be exciting for them.

Ø  They have hurt people for my own enjoyment.

Ø  They would enjoy hurting others if they gave it a go.

Ø  They have fantasies which involve hurting people.

Ø  They have hurt people because I could.

Ø  They wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone. (Reversed-scored)

Ø  They have humiliated others to keep them in line.

Sometimes I get so angry I want to hurt people.

To be honest if a person is a sadistic parasite nothing will change or become better, it’s a downhill, whirlpool of a relationship. if people find themselves in such a relationship its better to end it. In short I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can't love me.” “The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. “Consider the capacity of the human body for pleasure.

By: Ovais Asad Khan

MYTH OR REALITY

SOCIOECONOMIC DISPARITY – A MYTH OR REALITY?

 

We are surely living in a world of disparities, we can see disparities at every level and in every walk of life although interestingly all the religions and social systems that all of us follow strictly forbade such inequalities and disparities and teaches us that all human are alike and must have same opportunities to live a happy and contended life irrespective of their colour, cast, creed, nationality and religion. But ALAS this is something that we just find in books and in golden words of famous personalities & leaders.

According to a simple definition, Socio-economic disparity is multi-faceted, but disparity essentially regresses to disparity among individuals. Disparity has many aspects. Disparity in income through the degree of skills and years of schooling, and disparity in job opportunities, in access to information and health all relate to individuals.

Socioeconomic disparity it one form or the other has become a serious challenges for all the countries of the world and no one can deny that inequality in incomes and assets between the rich and the poor is turning into a critical issue. The fact that it has been made increasingly worse owing to social and economic exclusion caused by new technologies, poor governance and relentless market forces. Poverty should be more comprehensively measured through an index that uses multiple indicators. These may be broadly categorized as socioeconomic indicators related to income and wealth, housing, transport and communication, education, health and gender equality. A person's social class is difficult to determine. It depends on many factors, including occupation, sources of income, marketable abilities, access to consumer goods and services, and membership in status groups and political parties which eventually results in widening disparity gap amongst individuals.

Beside a number of reasons that creates a socioeconomic imbalance following are the major factors that are the foundation laying factors leading to this disparity among masses.

Ø  Social Status.

Ø  Social Expectations.

Ø  Social Responsibility.

Ø  Economic Security.

Ø  Job Security.

These may includes such factors as educational attainment, occupation, income, wealth, and deprivation, health facility imbalance. Beside them education, employment, community safety, and social supports can significantly affect how well and how long we live. These factors affect our ability to make healthy choices, afford medical care and housing, manage stress, and more.

We are familiar with the fact that every society has a set of values, beliefs, traditions, and habits known as their sociocultural values. These values shape how we approach risk, how we view careers, our perceptions of money, and our ideas of an ideal lifestyle.  In addition sociocultural values influence how we, as people in society, interact with the world; they also influence how we approach the process of economic development. Some sociocultural values that can impact economic development include:

Ø  The tendency to place greater value on physical needs or belongings than quality of life and spirituality and is known as materialism while Post-materialism places greater value on spiritual well-being, quality of life, and relationships.

Ø  Collectivism is a value that leads people to act for the greater good of the entire population. On the contrary Individualism suggests that people should make decisions for their own benefit, even if it has a negative impact on others.

Ø  If we considers as how interested a culture is in progress then such a culture is regarded as a culture following Innovation.

Ø  The values taught within religion influence how individuals approach everyday activities.

Ø  Another factor is obedience which simply refers to how much citizens conform to the social norms and expectations.

Ø  The terms Frugality or thrift refers to how much the culture saves money.

Ø  Last but not the least Risk Propensity is the level of risk an individual is naturally inclined to accept.

We all know that Social factors play a major role in affecting health outcomes, such as illness, difficulties with activities of daily living, and premature death. This is why optimal health care must address the social and environmental factors that contribute to inequality and impact the health of under resourced populations. Furthermore socio-economic importance can be highlighted : as a source of employment, income, revenue, and other goods and environmental services; the status of its populations.

Like many other countries of the world Pakistan too is facing an intense pressure of this socioeconomic disparity thus hindering the achievement of optimal level of development and growth. Pakistan is a country where up to 40% of its over 210 million population lives below poverty line- on less than $1 a day or less. Despite tall claims of the officials about putting the economy on growth track.  As a result of this inequality, economic growth is affected, crimes increase, talent is wasted, and social mobility is hindered. No one can deny the fact that, economic divide in the country would widen in the coming days as dependence on foreign loans would hurt economy, ultimately pushing more and more people below the poverty line.

The root cause behind the rising gap between the rich and the poor is the state capture by the elites. The powerful groups are the feudal lords, the military establishment, urban property owners and real estate developers, large domestic traders, shareholders of large corporations etc. As Pakistan is undergoing a youth bulge, however because of this disparity the economy is unable to create enough jobs for the large number of youth entering the labor force annually. Large disparities at the regional level in Pakistan resulting in a sense of deprivation and alienation among the people of Balochistan, leading to insurgent and separatist tendencies from the Federation of Pakistan.

Highlighting the reasons as why people are below poverty line in Pakistan we decipher following factors.

Ø  Unemployment.

Ø  Technical vocational education and training system lacks meaningful participation of stakeholders,

Ø  Existing training institutions are not capable of imparting and developing skills required for competitiveness, productivity and employment.

Ø  Lack of Investment in human capital formation means investment in education and health sectors.

Ø  Below standard healthcare facilities

Ø  Rise in Income disparity

Ø  Widening Regional disparities

Ø  Regional Inconsistencies in Poverty Reduction

Ø  Disparities in access to Education

Ø  Uneven access to health facilities

Ø  Discriminations in access to Infrastructure

Ø  Regional Differences in Human Development

Ø  Gender Gaps

Ø  Unequal Access to financial services

An ongoing regular inequality in resource ownership and income lead to inequality of opportunity and individuals, instead of working hard, divert their energies toward getting undue favours &fortifications that lead to misallocation of resources, corruption, partiality, and other undesirable outcomes. Inequality in health and education opportunities adds to miseries of poor and deprived with parents having little or no access to available opportunities will not be able to raise children to their full potential. Children born to rich, well-placed and educated parents have a higher probability of better education and good earnings. Poor parents cannot afford to send their children to high-quality schools which results in continuation of disparities in earning and access to opportunities.

In the end I would like to say that the government must take steps for supporting the poor in reducing their vulnerability. The government should also create conditions for the development of insurance markets, encourage the use of other risk-spreading financial instruments and design economic and regulatory incentives for risk reduction behavior. In Pakistan income and non-income inequalities have increased over time posing serious threat to the sustainability of growth process. This inequality is creating a rift in the society too. These disparities are numerous, deep-rooted and multi-dimensional. A very unequal distribution of growth dividend has put a question mark on the quality and sustainability of economic growth. It is therefore highly obligatory for policy makers to pursue inclusive and broad-based economic growth through participation and empowerment of poor and deprived. They should chalk out policies that can remove or minimize this disparity and help masses in general to have equal opportunities in every walk of life with no discrimination.

By: ovais asad khan

BLESSING OR CURSE

DIGITAL TECHNOLOGY – BLESSING or curse

Technology can affect life both positively and negatively. New technology always changes our life very much and takes it to a new level. It is like the new way of thinking or doing the normal things differently, better and much faster with less hassle and at a much affordable rate. The growth of technology is one of the most debatable topics. Some scientists refer to it as a disaster while some refer to it as a blessing. To my understanding it’s just a matter of how, when and with what intensity you are using technology in your life. Are you becoming totally dependent on it or you are just using it to make your life comfortable and easy. Answer to this simple question will sort out the question of technology being a blessing or a curse.

Now a day, from the word technology we actually refer to Digital Technology. We all know that digital technology has revolutionized almost every aspect of our lives in recent decades. Office work, shopping, music, movies, television, photography, travel, transport, and long distance communications are just some areas that have been transformed. It's become increasingly rare to find an electronic device or large machine that doesn't incorporate digital technology in some way. The word digital technology simply means that devices can be smaller, lighter, faster, and more versatile. It means that huge amounts of information can be stored locally or remotely and moved from place to place almost instantaneously without any delay.

With all this influx of digital technology and bombardment of latest innovations we can’t ignore the impact of technology on our lives. The 21st century has already been tagged as the era of science and technology. From the wrist watch one wears to the cars we drive, every single thing is digitalized. This technology plays a great role in our lives. Many would disagree with the fact that technology has several benefits and to a certain extent that’s true as every technology has it’s advantages and disadvantages, some of the potential benefits and drawbacks that humanity faces in this brave new world aided by all that technology has to offer are:

ADVANTAGES OF TECHNOLOGY:

At the medical level, technology can help treat more sick people and consequently save many lives and combat very harmful viruses and bacteria. The invention of the computer was a very important point. Communication is thus enhanced, and companies can communicate more easily with foreign countries.

1.       Improves efficiency for Business

2.       Predictability becomes easier with technology.

3.       It saves time and helps us in doing things quickly.

4.       Technology will facilitates better learning and teaching techniques.

5.       It streamlined tasks through adaptive learning

6.       Helps in enhancing productivity and creativity in every walk of life.

7.       With technological advancement we will have an easy access to information.

8.       Artificial intelligence will give a break to human from work.

9.       It lands us in a world with better communication

10.   Technology helps us with convenience of traveling/ ease of mobility.

11.   It increased Participation of learners by making it fun to learn

12.   It reduces cybercrime risks to a greater extent.

13.   With technological development disables, are now able.

14.   It enhances creativity with innovation in many fields.

15.   Improves lifestyle and our living standards.

16.   Provide us with better and better entertainment probabilities

In nutshell I can say that technology is a force multiplier. It allows people to be more effective within whatever problem domain the technology is designed to address. Mainly because of technological advancement we can prevent aging and can have longer lifespan. We might also spend a shorter period of our lifespan being sick due to these technological improvements. Thus from the At the medical point of view, technology can help treat more sick people and consequently save many lives and combat very harmful viruses and bacteria like minimally-invasive surgeries, better monitoring systems, and more comfortable scanning equipment are allowing patients to spend less time in recovery and more time enjoying a healthy life. Thus it can be simply understood that technology has surely affected the different industries worldwide, greatly, and education comes out to be on the top list. Preschools, schools, colleges, and universities, all understand the value and impact of Technology.

DISADVANTAGES OF TECHNOLOGY:

But everything in not that rosy and glittering as with all these advantages many disadvantages also accompanies this technological onslaught and development. Technology has become some sort of nuisance and hazard if it is not being used in a proper manner and if we become too much reliant on it. Being overly connected can cause psychological issues such as distraction, narcissism, expectation of instant gratification, and even depression. Beside affecting users' mental health, use of technology can also have negative repercussions on physical health causing vision problems, hearing loss, and neck strain. However, there are downsides to digital technology too. Some of these disadvantages.

1.            It makes us extreme dependability

2.            Leads to lack of data security.

3.            Increases the number of crime and terrorism.

4.            Enhancing the complexity in usage and maintenance of essential gadgets even.

5.            The word Privacy is no more there raising a big concern.

6.            Resulting in a big social disconnect.

7.            It may have malfunctioning thus leading to a standstill situation.

8.            A definite increase in work load as we make ourselves over burden.

9.            High chances of scam, manipulation and cheating.

10.          Rapid advancement in technology leads to higher job insecurity.

11.          Loss of originality because of plagiarism and lack of copyright.

12.          Disguise, anonymity, pretention and fake personas will be encouraged.

13.          Hand craftsmanship and art will ultimately loose itself to over-reliance on gadgets.

14.          It has become a time trap as we get addicted to gadgets.

15.          It ends up in too much screen time.

16.          Greater chance of losing your precious stored moments.

17.          Lack of any human touch and feeling in future warfare.

18.          With technological advancement lives of gadgets we use become shorter and expensive.

19.          Social connectivity is becoming more and more impersonal.

In the end I would like to say that technology does play a part in developing great countries, cultures and civilizations. It can make our day to day tasks easier; keep us informed on what’s happening in the world around us and help to bring us entertainment on the go. It has opened up a whole host of great opportunities and has helped to advance humanity towards a new age of connectivity. On the other hand, while some may sing the praises of technology, others may contend that it can bring about more harm than good and consider it a curse to mankind. Concluding all this I would say that we need to maintain a balance in adopting the new technology and should not just blindly let go our old traditions, values and ways of handling things and situations.

 BY: OVAIS ASAD KHAN