WHY BEING SADIST

SADISTIC RELATIONSHIPS: AN OVERVIEW

(PART 1)

During the course of life, we meet people, we are related to some, they are a part of our family, have friends and colleagues and classmates, neighbours etc etc.  In-short, we come across a variety of individuals, some we connect with, immediately, some we disagree with and some with don’t like.

Is it possible that all the people we come across are good? Ideally, I would like to think so, but no, unfortunately it’s never the case.  Some people are parasites, coronavirus of our society. They stay very close to us and prey. Some predators hunt us for financial benefits, and social connections  which is not bad as it’s a materialistic world after-all , worst are people who prey on someone’s trust and happiness, all in the guise of love and care , they destroy the person and damage him or her so badly that it leaves permanent scars.  I always used to think why betray or abuse someone, especially when that person is sincere? Why murder someone’s soul?

Harmful disclosures of confidential information, disloyalty, infidelity, dishonesty, they can be traumatic and cause considerable distress. The effects of such actions by people you love have weird emotional effects including shock, loss and grief, morbid pre-occupation, damaged self-esteem, self-doubting, anger. This kind of attitude is kind of a betrayal, when someone you trust lies to you, cheats on you, abuses you, or hurts you by putting their own self-interest first. Hence this kind of treatment is probably the most devastating loss a person can experience. Its not that people don’t know the power of what their actions or words could have on other people, such acts are always intentional and planned. No human being is ever this naïve that he/she destroy a person unintentionally. To identify them look for these common attributes in them in the beginning of the relationship/ friendship;

·         Such people be very concerned about their image, they will appear to be extra friendly, jolly and will take extra care of their attire and material stuff.

·         Their social media presence be extremely UpToDate with pics mostly / definitely without you except if you are paying for everything they own.

·         They will always keep a tab on where you are and with whom.

·         They will vanish from to time, especially when you need them

·         They be keeping a certain part of their lives private, always boosting about privacy whence they would even want to know the colour of your underwear.

·         They will always talk about the negatives of people.

·         They will always be portraying one person or another as a villain, out to get you.

·         They be always portraying themselves as victims wronged by the whole world.

·         They be always praising you and showering love and undistracted attention, especially before asking you for something.

·         Their advice would have nothing to do with actually doing the right thing or morality.

·         Unnecessary crying, sentiments and oaths.

·         They will never be honest with you and always sugar coat their words to please you.

·         They will never disagree with you directly.

Once you will trust them and you will think that you are blessed than the changes will appear, the demands will increase, unnecessary anger fits, tantrums, fighting on meaningless stuff. The circle continues and the grip becomes tightened. People usually think that the situation will improve,it will become better , try to find reasons and excuses  for their behaviours at times try to blame other people or situations for such reactions. Someone who has everyday sadism is an average person who not only lacks empathy but enjoys inflicting harm on others. ... These people have sadistic personalities. So it makes sense that they are out there dating (or marrying). After all, the best way to inflict pain is to do it to someone who truly cares about you.

A sadistic person can easily be spotted if you see him or her having one or more of these things in their nature and shown by their attitude or behavior:

Ø  They enjoy seeing people hurt.

Ø  They would enjoy hurting someone physically, sexually, or emotionally.

Ø  Hurting people would be exciting for them.

Ø  They have hurt people for my own enjoyment.

Ø  They would enjoy hurting others if they gave it a go.

Ø  They have fantasies which involve hurting people.

Ø  They have hurt people because I could.

Ø  They wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone. (Reversed-scored)

Ø  They have humiliated others to keep them in line.

Sometimes I get so angry I want to hurt people.

To be honest if a person is a sadistic parasite nothing will change or become better, it’s a downhill, whirlpool of a relationship. if people find themselves in such a relationship its better to end it. In short I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can't love me.” “The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. “Consider the capacity of the human body for pleasure.

By: Ovais Asad Khan